To answer your question where I get my inspiration...

Nothing in this life is irreplaceable So I've been told...
You start dying the moment you were born
Someone had to say goodbye
For two new hearts to say hello
When a door closes
Another opens up for you
Too many cliche I wish weren't true
With all the goodbyes
And tears I shed through
A dramatic episode
A tired rerun on my life story been told
I bid farewell per seasons without fail
I said goodbye to friends
I said goodbye to lovers
I even said goodbye to my grandparents
and 2 sets of parents
I said goodbye to my only sibling
I said goodbye to my best-friend
I said goodbye to coworkers that became my friends
I even said goodbye to the old me
The one who used to have her own family
The girl who used to believe in love and marriage
The little girl who used to wed her Ken and Barbie
I said goodbye to my dreams
The dreams of white fence, a pool, a dog, and yes a maybe a man.
I gave up the dream of walking down the isle to you with my Daddy
I gave up feeling my belly for a possibility of a baby
I gave up trying to lose the weight...after all it don't matter anymore...
a man will stray if he's a dog.
Another goodbye and I'd lose control
For I can't understand why they all had to go
Why can't I get that chance
To say good morning and goodnight with my own man?
To walk down the aisle in my perfect wedding gown?
Or have him look at me with the love in his mind?
Why can't Sunday be with my family
Why did my parents had to send me away with the belief my life's better without them?
When is my turn to feel that life inside of me...
to look forward in the morning when I wake up while my kids jump around me.
or to rush to school for PTA or bake sale of the month?
I'm tired of hopes and dreams just to wish for more
I'm tired of sleeping alone and waking up not knowing my dreams
I'm tired of those same 4 page letters about an ex
I wish I'm shopping for a lingerie for a make up sex
I don't want to say goodbye...
Just to try to get over our hello
To answer your question where I get my inspiration...
To keep you guessing what's real and what's played out words
I guess this is really what's behind my written thoughts.
I'm just tired of saying goodbyes....
Writing them down helps the memory to stay awhile.
Just in case one day my turn comes unannounced.


Posted 10/23/08