Sunday Randomness

Hello Readers,

So this is Sunday...a pretty chill day for me with my sweety. My life is full of surprises even on the calmest day of the week.

So I went downstairs to get a pack of smoke and randomly talking to this man about burnt movie and how the store is still burning some copies of Hurt Locker. When this apt. building security guard started to play "cop" and talk about how it's illegal and shit to buy pirated movies. I was like HOLD THE FUCKIN PHONE...ohm...last I recall it was a conversation between A & B not C! I don't recall asking him for his blodclut opinion! So being the smart mouthed person that I am I told him that it's my money and I will spend it however I want to spend it. And if I am able to get good deals...wtf not??? SO I thought that was the end of it...surely I was mistaken. PIZZA came and I had to pick it up from downstairs. Mr. Security was sure enough to cross my path once again. As I was paying the delivery guy he started saying "Don't trust her, she's a thief" So last I remember I saw red like a bull I attacked! I told him " where the fuck you come off calling me a thief you fake ass cop wanna be? Just cuz you failed the police academy and you can only settle for being a security does not mean you can open your blodclut mouth!!! Guess he learned his lesson BUT then again...I am sure that we will meet again...sooner than later and I am looking forward to it.

Anyways...so yes I am still with him...the only man that I can honestly say I love with all my heart that I actually don't mind doing dishes...YUP that's a HUGE deal...I don't like doing dishes for ANYONE!

Relationships are hard but it gets easier in time right??? If someone ever release an actual manual on relationship and I am talking about real solutions and NOT of those waste of paper books...I am sure to buy & read it. Men and women are different in terms of how we handle our emotions and how we deal with situations. Sometimes I think we are too afraid to be happy because of what our past painted the future for us. But how do we let go of the past if our future don't understand that our reactions is not meant to start a fight but a simple cry out for a little bit more words of security! But without communication a relationship is always heading towards the end before it can even really flourish. But what do I know...I am still fighting my jealousy demons that my patient man is trying his best to deal with and understand.

Anyways...until next time...Sabrositaness!

The Unthinkable

***Y'all know what song inspired me to write this...I just had to...but lately all I could think about is...my baby***

You know I got a little something to tell you.
Something that my heart wants you to know.
I wonder if maybe
You are the answer to my prayers.
The love that is so ideal...
Nothing is unreachable...
I see it in your eyes...
Every time you look at me...
And then you smile...
I know that it's crazy
To love this much
But I know I'm ready...
To give you my all
I can't see myself without you around.
It's your face I want to see when the morning comes...
And my day won't be complete...
Unless you are right beside me as I sleep.
Don't you know that I am ready...
To love someone like this baby.
If you go I would lose it.
Cry myself to sleep for eternity.
Good girl gone bad will be a reality
Because without you
Smiling will be unnecessary.
I know you are ready...
I feel it in your touch
When you make love to me.
You're the man I want to marry...
I love how you call me wifey.
Baby we're ready...
So what are we waiting for?
God blessed the path we walking on.
So you think we could do the unthinkable?
Be so crazy in love to half on a baby?
You're my present from my future...
You've made my heart feel secure
I love you baby

Live MY Life

It’s not that I am skipping…or avoiding or acting different
Just living a life that I can call my own
No one to tell me how to be, when to be, or what to believe
I had my moments when I was in the dark
When I thought no one cared or loved me as a matter of fact
I had my back up against the wall
Everyone left…nothing was right any more
Good karma I thought would come back to me
Became a memory of how people could be
They’re all living their life
Then I asked “What about me?”
So I made movements to flip the written scripts
I got my family who went all out for me
Who was there without judging me
Change of lifestyle meant being good internally
External will reflect what's within inevitably
Don’t want the same old thing
Dusted dirt off of my shoulder to be free
This is my refresh
A new start
A new canvass to paint the rest of my life
The one above granted my wish
Life with happiness without feeling guilt
So if you wonder where I have been
I am here…more aware than what I used to be
I’ve been doing right by me
Learnt from my old mistakes
Took notes then that’s why I am better today
I am not going to apologize for living my life
I am answering life’s questions of “whys”
If you know me at all...
You'd understand I'm just living my life!

Randomness...

Hello Readers,

How are you? Hows life been treating you for the 2010? Considering it is mid March already!!! Wow...Years are getting shorter, days seems to have changed to hours and hours feels like a second...I swear I was in 1999 then I blinked and it March 2010 only has ten more days until April comes hopping in! Most conversations I have had lately was about how fast everything seem to go by...life seems to be faster and as we all are guilty of...we simply don't have time to enjoy every minute of it. We always tend to reason that there are things to be done, needs to be done, or over due to be taken care of. But why can't we stop? Well TIME = MONEY therefore due to the fact that the circulation of dineros seems to be in a 1% group of the rich & wealthy...we simply don't have their "TIME".

I used to say that you can't eat love! Looking for a partner in life means being compatible with the person based on the following qualities: Chemistry, Visual Appreciation, Emotional Connection, Sexual Intensity and Financial Credibility. LOVE was the last thing I want to focus on because let's face it...LOVE alone does not seem to be enough because there are so many people out there that just don't love LOVE anymore.

There's so many cheaters out there and I just really don't have any tolerance for that. This is coming from personal experiences. I still don't understand why people cheat...but I guess we will never know because unless we ourselves respect the person we are currently with...temptations are out there. But you must ask yourself...is it worth it? Do you really think that the person you are cheatin with won't turn around and do it to you? Karma is not one to mess with! But I think the biggest mistake is staying with someone who do you wrong! As much as you love someone nothing in this world can fix a relationship that has to deal with cheating lovers!!! Personally...do your crying, vent, get your dirnk on with your friends and MOVE ON! I mean...once a cheater ALWAYS will be a cheater.

Frankly, I don't have that time in this lifetime to play games. I like being inlove, being happy, content and knowing that I can still look at myself in the mirror and respect the person that I am. I know my worth and I know love should not hurt...therefore love has a thin line...which side you are on is based on YOUR OWN actions.

Life has a funny way in reminding us what matters most AND it sure knows how to catch you off guard! I mean the world is a pretty damn small place lately. Some of our past seems to haunt us or seem to cross fire with our future. Have you even been in a situation when you know you are not supposed to be in that time & place and you took a chance...and BOOM sure enough karma's shadow approaches near by to tell you...SEE BITCH I TOLD YOU SO! Makes you retract and say to yourself "I knew it...what are the likelihood?" But it also benefits future because you realizes that nothing is worth it when it would lead to your future going back to a dark damped place. Never forget the past to ensure that you take care of tomorrow.

Life as of late, truly have been good to me. I feel that God did listen to my prayer...I asked him to take my hand and guide me to a happy life. What he thinks I deserved and sure enough things are finally calm. Work is good, new apt is awesome, my friends and family are in good health and doing well and the man of my life is the love I've always craved for.

I know NO RELATIONSHIP is perfect...there were issues that we are both working on to ensure it does not ruin our future. But I love him and I know he loves me with his words, his actions, his eyes and the way he makes me feel like I am important to him. I know he is not a ball player, or has riches out of this world, but I love him and no man can take me away from him. I could see him in my life for the rest of our life. I can't see the future like a psychic but I feel him. If he could only hear how my heart treasure him. I respect him for his goal orientedness, for his hard work and for taking care of my needs. And when he looks at me and smile...I know he could be the one I could half a baby with. For those who knows me...this would be a shocker since I didn't want to have kids. I used to feel that true love is not around and I don't want to have a broken family. So I rather not. And then I met him...I thank him for finding me. For helping me restore my belief that yes, falling and being so inlove with someone can exist. The kind of love that I tend to write about finally applies to my own real life story. (Papa, if you are reading this...we are worth more than gold...and the sky is a limit...you are my Happily Ever...hopefully there's no ending in our love story...I love you Lennox!)

I will be back to post some more of my new works...and some more of my random thoughts on Saturdays :) But for now I will say ALOHA!!!

Until next time :) Sabrosita

What's up WORLD?

Hello Readers,

It's been a while since I expressed my thoughts. It is Saturday and I am blogging while my I listen to my favorite tunes and blog :)

So many positive and negative events happened since my last blog. Hawaii, Chile and Japan felt another hit of Mother Nature's wrath and I am sure there are others that did not make the news. My heart goes out to those who are the survivor of the ill fated individuals. Life...we only have one so choose well how you make a mark in anyone's life...how do you want to be remembered? You never know when your number's up.

So I guess the line "Don't judge the book by its cover" is true in many aspects. We all tend to be magnetized by physical attributes or hear-says than by making our own conclusions. Let's face it...verbal marketing is 100% effective. You're probably wondering where I am going with this right? Well...let's just say that there's this person who is constantly in my proximity and to this day I am glad I took the chance to get to know the inside than the gossip around. There's still that cautionary feeling but I think that the person is genuine...trust worthy? Hmmm that remains to be on the other side of the wall for the mean time…let’s face it I only let those I 100% trust in my life just because I’ve been hurt, betrayed, and taken for granted too many times. 2010 is my year and best believe that I aim to be happy first and foremost. Life is too short for me to stay around those that don’t genuinely care for me.

No one was born conniving or evil. "Hate" is a word that was taught to us just like every other word we've learned from our first sound to your last word of your thought. Love and hate does have a very thin line because one empowers and makes the other obsolete just the same. Both are so powerful and equally capable to hurt anyone from all levels. I rather have love in my life and peace than lie and deceit. Well you might say ain’t that obvious? Let’s be frank with you…there are people out there that just seem to aim to inflict misery and pain on others. Like I said in the beginning of this blog…our characteristic is defined by our personal intentions. What we really want out of life? How we perceive life in general and how we want to go out…with pride or prejudice? Fast lanes always end up in a big crash and truthfully I like stability because it leads to contentment. If you are happy…and live your life honestly…no doubt that you will prosper because there is no ill will in your actions. Remember KARMA? Yea she’s a bitch and one revenge hungry bitch at that! So I don’t mess with ill will because I am not inviting any of her hits.

Catching up on the news around me got me to thinking...to ask the question "Why do people submit to these acts?” I am not just talking about criminals…I am talking about everyone. Someone from South Korea is charged for starving a baby to death? And WAIT…they spent more time taking care of their online child??? How the hell does someone with the a mind and has heart and soul do such a horrible thing? What the hell is wrong with you if you can hurt a child??? I believe in eye for an eye. What those children went thru in the hands of the offenders should get the same treatment! “DO TO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS DO TO YOU”. I think that ZERO tolerance and the DEATH PENALTY should be in full effect.

If you are capable of taking someone’s life with your own hands…I think that it is only right to take you out of the society by any means. But of course allowing the family of the victim to have their way with the offender first. Now I know that will not bring back the victim but it will be some form of justice. And if they know taking someone’s life automatically put them on death penalty, I think there’s a chance that they might not. But crazy ass people are everywhere. Remember these are my opinions and if you do not agree that is your own calling. I understand that some are convicted for a crime that they were set up for…OKAY…but if all evidence after many deliberations, the truth comes out. I believe that they should not be able to keep their own life.

Our justice system is so beyond fucked up that we rehabilitate criminals. We tax payers, keep them warm in bed and with 3 meals per day and allowances. Even free education. Now why is this not offered to the low income families? Get them help, allowance, a place to stay and free food? Oh wait…we do have welfare, food stamps, and coop housing. But is that enough? And honestly there are so many out there that takes advantage of that service and in turn makes it harder for those who really need the government assistance to well...GET HELP. In the end no one wins and AGAIN those who are doing right gets screwed over again.

It seems that we give criminals more chances? Why not help those who are at the end of their stick so that they are not provoked to commit a crime. This does not include those serial killers, rapist, and terrorist because I think they’re so fucked up in the head to even understand that what they are doing. Who the hell in their right mind would attach a bomb on their groin to blow up a plane? I guess I will never understand what goes on in their mind…but I know that they should not be allowed to be rehabilitated because a killer will never change. They have and will and can do it again.

It scares me to think of what type of society our next generation will face. From the global warming to the criminals and government corruptions that exist, how do we promise a better tomorrow when we can’t even guarantee the present? How do we tell a child that it is safe to play outside when pedophiles are allowed to be in closed proximity to their homes and schools? How do we tell teenagers to aim for better future and higher education when their peers who committed a crime are getting better assistance by our government and they can’t even get a sufficient loan to pay for their tuition fees? How do they focus in school when teachers constantly go on strike for better pay? How do we go to school and work when you don’t drive and the TTC decide to go on strike? And driving a car gives you a harsher carbon footprints record and of course the risk of car accident because of drunk drivers or bad drivers? How do you cross the street when you can get hit easily? Have you ever questioned how your work colleague, who does nothing at the office, gets the best treatment? Or better pay?

It seems that those who are up to no good gets better options and/or chances in life than those who are trying to do right. So what is being promoted? Do well and settle for less and do badly and get second chance and better assistance from our government? I THINK THAT IS ABSOLUTELY ABSURD!!!

Anyways my lovely readers and stalkers…I’ll leave you with those thoughts to think about…after all these are just my own opinions and random thoughts.

Until next time…Sabrositaness.

Mr. Man

Constant kissing,
And touching...
Touches that makes me fall...
Fall for the things that you so...so well
Well...enough to make me think of you so
So much times we rock the bed and moan
Moan your name cuz what you do is what I crave
Craving our moments...
Our kisses that we share
Shared those laughter
And it linger in the air
Air that we exhale as we just move on and on
On you turn me on
While Luther play that song...
Songs you sang as we chill
Our body entwined...
And just be...
Be here with me...
Is where I longed for you to be...
Because I know that we could...
Be more than just...
Just what we became to be...
What are we?
We make love but not in love...
Would you miss it?

It was a one line then two
Maybe three by then I knew...
Knew that this music man
Could be a sweet one too...
Too far yet close...
Close enough to talk,
To talk is to make a call
Then say that first hello...
Hello...Hi...
Then a conversation flow right through...
Through this nite of dark sky...
Sky high...
Up there where we can get high...
High as a cloud so that we may fly...
Flyin thoughts that only he and I understand...
Understood the language we exchange everytime
Everytime we talk it's like the first time.
Time time time is it the right one?
One, two, three months gone by...
He still captures my mind
Mind is a terrible thing to waste...
Waste no time...the presciouness of memory in line
For its just a sad thing to wake up alone...
Alone not to be...
Be without him is a sad story...
It doesn't start with once upon a time...
Times?
How many times can a heart break...
One, two, or three maybe...
Maybe this is how the story came to be
How he became...
Mr. Man to me.

Nothing Compares To You

I know all of the things that you do
Can't compare you to all the men I am used to
I can't even say you're my O'neal
I hope someday we say I do's as we kneel
I won't wish you to be just like Mike
Honey we ain't got Game we got Love.
Don't want you to be like Usher
The man Confessed his way out of the best thing in his life
Never had to sing like D'Angelo
You'll never have to ask How Does It Feel?
There's no need to ask, for you I'll just provide.
When Joe look for his Good Girl..
You got a woman in me.
Tyrese would envy you as he sang On Top Of Me
Cuz baby I'll be all over you
I'll be your personal fantasy Galaxy.
Better than R. Kelly's Chocolate Factory.
When DruHill talked about how Men Always Regret
With me there's no need to worry I got you.
I know you said it better than BoyzIIMen
When you say your Thank You In Advance
When it comes to loving you...
Seven days of the week is never enough

The Woman In Me

Gradually floatin above this world of mine
Overlookin the people of my time
I am beyond the years I spent on earth
My mind captures the love and hurt
I am a woman of today
Not afraid of talking to God as I pray

I am the sun that warms your skin
The wind that lets you know I care
I am the snow on Christmas eve
Assuring you that I'll never leave
In me you may believe
It's me myself and I that will set you free
My touch lets you know that you live

I will not shy away from my womanly needs
I show strength even when I am weak
I give and take as I please
Can you handle that woman in me?

I'm neither black, white or Yellow
I refused to be categorized in colour
I am a person of individuality
Never claiming any perfection
I have humanly faults too
In godly form I am nefertiti
Beautiful, strong, sensual and sweet
My intensity will make you quiver
From your head to your feet

I got curves that'll make you drop to your knees
I have desire just like yourself
I will not hide it like a shy little girl
My eyes truly are the window to my soul
My lips are the entrance to eternity
Like nefertiti I am a queen
I demand for my king to be loyal to me

My skin soft like heaven
My scent surrounds you in your dream
Enter my world with an open mind
With me theres' no need to hide

I'm a lover and a friend
I'm a fighter till the very end
It is my duty to protect my beauty
To shine for all the world to see
My soft lips with a rosy red glow
Make a wish for a brighter tomorrow

Here I am infont of you
Slowly my aura surrounds you.

Always always, Never never

From the very first time we knew there was something there
We used to always talk till the morning sunrise.
You never knew the little things you do mean so much to me
And I’m always afraid to fall in love
I told myself never to let you in
But cupid must have hit me right, when you smiled at me.
I was never happy just to be your friend.
You always had a way that I can’t explain
I tried to look for someone else
But it’s you…I crave for always in the end.
You always tested my patience.
I always push away my own doubts
Tears never seemed to dry at night
When you’re far and your kiss I longed to have
Every 7th day, you always come along
Always lost in this never ending dream
Another cycle of never knowing
Always praying that we never let go
To just tell you that I love you so
But you never let me in
Always got excuses why you left me waiting
I always try to make you smile
Your special day, I went an extra mile.
But you were the last to call on mine.
You assumed materialistic things suffice
Instead of you being there to personally say a bday wish.
Right then I realize…
You’re just a waste of time.
Conversation never seemed to last any more
It always left me feeling frustrated
Wishing I should have never called.
It hurts when I think that it’s been a year
And you always never care enough for me.
And you’re the one who always caused most of my tears.
How many times can a girl wish upon a star?
How many times do we lay there in silence,
Always hiding what we truly feel inside?
So close yet we’re always so far apart.
Falsified image of what we are.
Always never wanting it to end when we touched.
It satisfied you assuming that I’ll always be around.
When you call I always come running, never wanting it to be missed.
Make sure everything’s perfect before I open the door.
But when you’re gone I miss your eyes
I miss the laughter we share in the dark.
But the sunshine never seemed to shine bright enough…
I see clouds and the rain hide the tears I shed at night.
It seemed you take it all for granted.
I’m tired of acting nonchalant that's why it has to end.
You’re an empty canvas and I’m the uninspired artist.
Your action speaks louder than words.
I hear what you try to convey all along.
So it’s your turn to listen.
This is when I say never, even if I've always believed.
I’ll always remember your warmth touch.
But I never want to feel cold during those 6 nights.
I never want to feel lost in your eyes at night
Just to always see emptiness when morning comes around.
You always had me believing that you care.
It seemed to me you never knew what you've always had.
We both know that you’re replaceable…
I just happen to have fallen with the things you do.
It may take some time... that’s always true,
I know I will and can always move on.
Expressing these words as tears steadily flow
For my feelings for you left me feeling lost.
And as always the good in this goodbye is…
You will never ever see me cry.

He Loves Her

I watched him...
...Smile back.
I saw him...
....Give her that hug
Like a movie...
...On a big screen
The world suddenly...
...Became still
And I could see...
...Every angle
Of the two of you...
In that...
...Passionate kiss
A nightmare...
...I couldn't wake up
And I tried...
...But that image
Was already...
...Carved in my heart
I don't understand...
...Why I can't believe
What's right before me...
...I knew about her
The one...
...He gave
His name to...
...And I was the one
That kept...
...The silly hopes
Of him coming back...
...I was amongst
The crowd...
...His eyes were
Only on hers...
...I became
The background...
...That became
The audience...
...The hit and run
Victim...
...Without one
Witness around...
...Why does he
Love her...
...The way he couldn't
Love me...
...When he
Kissed her...
...He would
Hold her tight...
And he...
...Loved her
The way...
...I loved him
This movie I can't pause...
...As I remember
The "We"...
...Left the "I"
To become "Them"...
...And he gave her
My forever more...
...But I somehow
Stayed in love...
...The way I have been
Just like before...
...This is my painful ending
Watching their happy beginning...

My Everything

How long does it take until I no longer have to wait....
To break the gates that stops my skin to touch yours
My heart is one with yours
My thoughts occupied by your words
Our world...yes...yours and mine...entwined....
Like the night I counted every sip of my wine
Hoping you'll see the anticipation as I waited for my time.
Every breathe and every smile
Every twinkle that I see deep in your eyes
It's like my heart froze you in time...
Just to paint every inch of you that I admire
No frame can quite capture the beauty that I see
Because in your eyes I know that's a reflection of me
No matter who sees that I am forever be
Yours and yours to keep...would you just hold me?
It's the ticking of the seconds on my faithful wrist
Telling me that this night must be ended with a kiss
A kiss to end this magical bliss...
I sigh...and I wished
That somehow your mind captured the aura of my mist
And I dare not close my eyes even for this one special wish
Too afraid that one second I'd missed
The smile that brought joy to my lips
And so I wait for that special kiss...
and with one sweep it was your lips ignited with mine
I could swear my heart never felt all emotions at one time
So how long does a girl have to wait....
To feel those lips before it's too late?
Knowing all I have to give is my everything...
Knowing I could potentially lose my everything...

Future

The room span around
Taking me all the way back in time
The very moment...
The exact year...
To the day...
Of the month...
On that hour...
To the dot of the second
Like a bookmark in my mind.
Reliving the story of one page
From the chapter that once upon a time included you
Realizing I would do it a thousand times
To love you like I did before
To give you my all and so much more
I'm willing now just like I have before
All it took was my name for you to call
Me, myself, and I are ready to give all and all
Through the years nothing seemed to change
I hope the "then" does not ruin
The possibility of what could be "now"
It was a bitter sweet past
But we could make a sweet life somehow
Right here...just me and you...
I'm taking a chance to see what might be
A future with you is all I seek...
Say that you do want to start new cuz I do.
With all my heart love you

Karma ( I wrote this way back....)

lf in doubt of how you feel
And what you want is unclear
Be honest...
You owe yourself that much
What do you really want?
I offered you my all...
Pushed aside your chains
The cars, the cash, and your games
I only wanted you to be strong
To ignore temptations outside our home
But my heart can't hold on to you
When you give away whats just for us boo
I gave you too many last chances
Pushed aside my doubts and what-ifs..
But I woke up this morning
Realizing I can't be the lover that chases
Someone who wants to be free
I've felt the painful sting
From a heart that's never real.
The kind that feeds off of breaking another.
I won't try to change your mind
Or manipulate your heart to love mine
You know I'm that independant woman
Got my own place, my friends and family
Got my J.O.B more than you U.S.O.B
More than your sidekick hoe could ever be!
Don't you dare try to crawl back in my life
When you find out that...
Her love is based on your funds
Karma is calling your name outloud!

Ghost (this was from my other site)

I accidentally made you my priority
When you intentionally made me your option
The simple things in life that meant so much
Is all I've asked of you...
But it's the price you refused to man up to
When I serviced all your needs and wants
Anytime...you felt the need to want
Anywhere...you needed your wants
My weakness became my curse
Your strong hold I can't seem to shake off
The truth is painful and death of me
You're a poison I've taken in human form
The Romeo and Juliet story I hate so much
I die with every kiss...
Over...
And over...
And over...
Again...
Like the unlearnt lesson
I kept making the same damn mistakes
The addicted masochist
I take in the long term pain
For a momentary pleasure
And nohing was left of me
I'm just a ghost of what
I used to be...